


Food and Cheer

by Ambrose



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Multi, crack (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5016358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose/pseuds/Ambrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not exactly a food fight. More like a food argument.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food and Cheer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tveckling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tveckling/gifts).



> cross-posting of an old tumblr prompt: Bentycutio and "Imagine Person A being held hostage by C unless B forks over the last slice of pizza they have."
> 
> Title borrowed from that Tolkien quote, "if more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world", because I just can't do titles myself and it had a happy feel.

“I’m keeping him, then!”

Benvolio sighed. “I thought we’d agreed I wasn’t a bargaining tool?”

“But he’s taken hostage the last slice!” Mercutio pouted.

“… Because that’s my slice?” Tybalt answered, at the same time as Benvolio said, “because that’s his slice?”

“See, now you’re teaming up against me!” Mercutio made his best attempt at crossing his arms while preventing any move from Benvolio (who did not intend to, in any case), which mostly translated as hooking up a leg over Benvolio’s knee, and also being bent so that his elbow was on Benvolio’s shoulder to keep him from getting up. This made Benvolio smile brightly and wrap an arm around him to steady him – and he might protest but he was indeed very near falling off his chair – and Tybalt huffed a laugh, but he didn’t seem ready to surrender the pizza. In fact, he even took a bite.

“Eh! My pizza!”

Tybalt sighed, then put it back in his plate, and slid it towards Mercutio.

“Happy?”

“Meh. You had a bite now. You can keep it. But I keep Benvolio for myself tonight!” He stuck out his tongue as he gave Tybalt his plate back. Benvolio intercepted it and took a bite.

“Do I need to remind you we only have one bed? How do you intend to do that, exactly?”

Mercutio grinned. “Well, I’ll just sleep in the middle, what do you think!”

“Was that your plan all along?” Ben asked.

Mercutio tried to look innocent, without much success, since he couldn’t stop smiling in victory.

“I warn you,” Tybalt pointed an accusatory finger at him. “If you take up the whole space like a freaking starfish again, I swear we’ll sleep on the couch. Both of us.”

Mercutio put on his most offended look. “You wouldn’t  _dare_!”

“Try me!” Tybalt said, as he finished his pizza.

“Benvoliooooo!” He tried to whine. “You wouldn’t abandon me, would you? You’re not mean like that, you!”

As Benvolio gave him a peck, Mercutio smiled triumphantly at Tybalt. However, he deflated quickly when Benvolio said, “Merc, I love you, but if I don’t want your paws in my face in the middle of the night. There’s a reason we don’t have a cat.”

“I  _am_  a cat!” Mercutio announced proudly.

“Hadn’t noticed Tybalt was allergic to you. Anymore,” Benvolio added, almost as a second thought.

“I’m just desensitized by now,” Tybalt answered, deadpan.

“No-one can ever resist my charm. And you definitely are  _not_  desensitized.” Mercutio shot him a lewd smile, before getting up, dragging Benvolio with him towards their room. “And next time,  _I_ get to eat the last slice. Now, you’re coming over?”

“Please don’t leave me alone with him,” Benvolio pretend-whispered at Tybalt, who got up to follow them.

Mercutio took an offended air, then painstakingly went to link Benvolio’s hands with Tybalt’s. “Nah. You two stay together. Since you’re always teaming up against me.”

And he was still pouting, in his usual, childish way, but Benvolio wasn’t too sure how much was acting, and how much he might be really hurt, this time around. He and Tybalt only had to exchange a look, and as Mercutio was about to go away, Benvolio pulled him into a hug, which Tybalt soon joined.

“What are you doing?” Mercutio asked, though he clearly wasn’t complaining.

“Teaming up to take you hostage, Merkitty, what do you think?”


End file.
